I'll Follow You Into the Dark
by jessalyn78
Summary: When someone from April's past comes back to haunt her, Jackson will be there to protect her. But will the events that follow bring them back together or draw them apart forever? Warning: Deals with a violent subject matter.
1. Chapter 1

April sat her tray down in front of her at the table and took a deep, calming breath as she sat down. Her day had been…terrible so far and she had a sneaking suspicion it was about to get worse.

"Something bothering you?" Alex asked casually as he bit into his sandwich.

"No" she lied as she pursed her lips and stabbed her straw into her juice box with much more force than necessary, hoping to get some of her aggression out of her system.

"Clearly" he teased as he rolled his eyes.

"I lost a patient" she explained shakily. "She was terminal, but she had such high hopes and I really thought that…"

"Jesus would swoop in at the last moment and save her?" he asked sarcastically.

"I'm not new to this" she snapped back quickly. "I'm a doctor, I know how to be objective and practical it's just… I don't know. Haven't you ever hoped for a miracle around here? Something good to happen?"

"Of course" he shrugged. "You just have to look for them in the right places."

"What's going on?" Jackson asked cautiously as he took a seat across from April. He could tell something was bothering his ex, and he wanted to help her if he could. After all, April would always be his best friend even if they weren't close at the moment.

"Kepner lost a patient" Alex shrugged as he took another bite.

"Oh, I'm sorry" Jackson replied sincerely. He was all too familiar with what April was feeling, losing a patient always sucked but some deaths hit harder than others.

"I'm just having a crappy day" she shrugged. "I hate Mondays."

"Me too" Jackson smiled, pleased that he was having a casual conversation with her. He missed April, missed the bond they shared, he missed talking to her. And, if he was honest he also missed kissing her, he missed the way her red hair would fall and drape around him when she was on top of him…

"Jackson?" April asked interrupting his wondering thoughts. "What do you think?"

"About… what?" he asked clueless as to what she was talking about.

"We just asked you if you wanted to go out for drinks after work, you interested?"

"Yeah" he smiled. "Yeah, I'd like that a lot."

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"Let's see" she mumbled as she picked up her new patient's chart. "Patient name Paul… Williams." April paled and struggled to steady her breathing… It couldn't be; it was impossible.

"You know him?" Meredith asked suspiciously.

"No" April answered flustered.

_ "Paul lives in Moline"_ April said trying to calm herself down. _"I got away from him. This must be a different Paul."_

"Hey, you okay?" Meredith asked as she gently placed her hand on April's shoulder.

"Fine" she answered, calmed slightly by the warm gesture. "I'm just having a bad day." _And now I really think it's about to get worse._

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April stood frozen in front of the door. She knew she had to go in. She had to face this. After all, she was being ridiculous. This wasn't him. This couldn't be him.

_"If you tell anyone what happened I'll ruin your life, do you understand? Do you!"_

_"No one will believe you. They will all think you're lying, is that what you want?" _

_"Admit it. You liked it."_

"Damn it" she cringed as she tried to fight the flashbacks. She hadn't thought about what had happened in a long time. She had put all of those thoughts out of her head completely, and now they were back. All of the time that she thought had healed her wound meant nothing, all the work she did meant nothing. She felt just as lost, and confused, and angry, as she did all those years ago.

She had to go in. She had to face this. This wasn't going away.

She decided to go with a "just rip the band aid off" approach as she opened the door quickly and walked in.

"Hello Sir, my name is Dr. Kepner."

"He's unconscious" a nurse interrupted quickly. "Didn't you read his chart?"

_"How could I have not read his chart?" _April scolded herself internally. _"I've got to pull it together, this is ridiculous."_

"Head trauma. He's in a coma" April said, thinking out loud.

"Massive accident" the nurse explained. "Poor guy, so young too."

April eyes immediately fell to the patient information. Date of Birth: November, 11 1982.

"No" she whispered.

"Are you alright Dr. Kepner?" the nurse asked noting her expression.

April remained silent with a horrified expression on her face as she moved closer to the bed. "Oh God" she gasped after she finally mustered the courage to look at face. And suddenly she was sixteen again, trapped in his car with nowhere to run.

"I can't treat this patient" April said shakily. "I- I have to go."

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April sat at the bar trying to keep her mind from spiraling out of control. It would be okay, she had gotten through this once before. She found a way to move on, a way to get past all of her feelings. She had even been able to face him in the halls at school after… what happened.

If she was honest with herself that was really why she left Moline though, she wouldn't have to face him again. She wanted to go on to do bigger and better things so she wouldn't be trapped in that small town, where everyone thought he was a hero. Star football player, A student…

"Hey" Jackson said as he sat at the bar next to her. "Still bummed about your patient."

"What?" April gasped. How did Jackson know about Paul?

"The patient you lost earlier."

"Oh!" April gasped. How had she forgotten, she had been devastated a few hours ago.

"You seem jumpy" Jackson said as he brow wrinkled with concern. "Something going on?"

"No" shrugged trying her best to put on a brave front. There was no way she wanted anyone to find out about this… least of all Jackson. She silently prayed for Alex to get there as soon as possible so she wouldn't be tempted to spill her guts to him. This man she trusted, this man who would always be her best friend, this man who she still had feelings for. Strong feelings for.

April jolted when she was startled out of her thoughts by a sudden noise.

"It's okay" Jackson said softly. "It's just my cell. It's Karev" he said pulling it from his pocket. "He's not gonna make it."

"Oh" April responded flustered.

"But that's okay, right? It'll just be the two of us. Like old times."

"Right" April muttered. "Like old times."

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	2. Chapter 2

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jackson asked concerned as he watched April down her fourth beer. "You don't usually drink this much."

"Nah, I'm good" she answered unconvincingly as the scene from earlier at the hospital replayed in her mind; reading his name on the chart, seeing him lying in the hospital bed. And the worst part was that she knew he wasn't going anywhere. He was still there, at the hospital. _Her_ hospital. The place where she worked, the place where all her friends were, the place that had become home to her. In one day all of the distance she put in between herself and Moline meant nothing. The walls she put up to protect herself were gone.

"Come on Kepner" Jackson prodded "I know something is up, what's bothering you?"

"I had a sucky day" she shrugged.

"Talk to me" he begged, trying to keep the desperate edge out of his voice. He knew April, probably better than she knew herself. He knew she was keeping something from him, he just didn't know what.

"How's Stephanie?" April asked quickly changing the subject.

"Okay" Jackson answered suspiciously. "You know it's not serious with her, right?" he added, the words flying out of his mouth before he gave himself time to think them through. Why did he feel the need to reassure April about the girl he was having casual sex with? After all, they had both moved on. "How's Matt?" he asked clearing his throat.

"I wouldn't know" she said taking another swig. "We broke up."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not a virgin" she laughed as she turned to look at him. "Ironic, huh?"

"Oh my God. April, I'm so…"

"Don't" April interrupted quickly. "Don't apologize Jackson, this isn't your fault. It's mine. I shouldn't have lied to him."

"Do you regret it?" Jackson asked quickly, once again speaking before he had really thought it through.

"Lying?" April scoffed. "Yeah, it wasn't the best move I've ever made."

"No, that isn't what I meant. I meant; do you regret sleeping with me?" He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the honest answer. He wasn't sure he could bear it to hear that April regretted being with him.

She gazed at him for a moment as she lost herself in thought for a moment. "No" she admitted honestly.

"Good" he grinned. "Now is that why you're bummed, because choir boy dumped you?"

"Yeah" she nodded, hoping this would end his line of questioning.

"Screw him" Jackson shrugged. "If he can't see how great you are he doesn't deserve you."

"I'm not that great" April scoffed. "I'm kind of a mess."

"Yeah" he smiled fondly. "You kind of are. But you're still the best."

The two stared at each other for a moment as April searched her mind for what to say next. She wanted to be in the moment with Jackson, to enjoy the time she was spending with her best friend whom she had only just recently made up with, but no matter how hard she thought all she could see in her mind was _his_ face.

"Hey" Jackson said urgently as he put his hand on April's shoulder. "You're shaking."

"I am?" she asked as she struggled to gather her wits. "I must just be cold."

"Here" he said as he put her coat around her shoulders and rubbed her arms. "Better?"

She offered him a struggled smile and a head nod as she fought tears.

"April?" he asked desperately as he gazed into her eyes. "What is going on?"

In that moment April was tempted to spill her guts, to tell Jackson the secret she hadn't ever told anyone, but she knew that once she said it there was no taking it back. "I should go" she answered as she took a sharp intake of breath and stood to her feet. "I- I should go."

"No" he said as he stood in front of her, blocking her exit. "You've been drinking, and even if you aren't telling me why, I can see your upset. I'm not letting you leave here alone."

"Fine" she sighed. "You've only had one beer, want to be my designated driver?"

"What are friends for?" he asked with a wink as he pulled his keys out of his pocket, and took her hand. "Come on drunky, let's get you home."

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"So, this your new apartment?" Jackson asked scanning the room. It was very…April. It was simple, modest, and well-organized; but it also had a certain charm to it.

"Yep" April answered as she slipped her shoes off and laid down on her couch. "Thanks for the ride" she added sleepily.

"Don't mention it" he smiled. "Can I use your bathroom real quick?"

"Sure" she mumbled into the couch cushion. "It's down the hall to the left, and the guest towels are in the bottom drawer."

Jackson couldn't help but laugh to himself. Only April would be such a hospitable host in her half-passed out state, and only April would be half-passed out from only four beers.

He had to laugh to himself again when he went to dry his hands and found the guest towels April was talking about. They were monogramed. She had already bought monogramed guest towels for her brand new apartment. "Some things will never change" he smiled as he walked back into April's living room. She was fast asleep. He knew he should leave, but he just couldn't. He missed April, he missed her a lot, and he just wanted to be near her. And she looked so beautiful and peaceful when she slept. He gently placed a blanket over her and took a seat next to her. He found a book resting on the side table next to the couch and opened it to the page April had marked. It was a girly romance novel, but for some reason the fact that April was reading it drew him to it. He soon realized that he was quite sleepy as well, and it only took him a few minutes to drift off.

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_"I'm having a great time" April said nervously as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear._

_"Is this your first date?" Paul asked as he parked his car._

_"Yeah" April admitted shakily as she anxiously glanced out the window. "My house is still a few blocks from here. I can walk if you have to get going."_

_"I'm not going anywhere" he smiled icily. "And neither are you."_

_"What are you talking about?" she asked as she moved to open the car door._

_"You're very hot, do you know that April?" he whispered as he locked the door and leaned over into the passenger's seat._

_"I'm- I'm uncomfortable" April said as she moved to fiddle with the door lock._

_"Don't" he scolded as he pinned her arms to her side._

_"I'd like to leave" she added as she chocked back a sob. "Please."_

_"No" he shook his head. "That isn't really what you want, is it April? You want me. You want this."_

_"Please stop!" she cried as he began to tug at her skirt. "Stop, no! Stop, please! No! No!"_

_"April!" a comforting voice called out, but a voice she couldn't quite place. "April, wake up. You're having a bad dream, it's me. It's Jackson. Wake up!"_

April sat up suddenly and struggled to catch her breath. She looked around and tried to place where she was. The apartment. She was at her apartment, with Jackson.

"Jackson?" she asked as she tried to piece together what had happened. "What are you still doing here?"

"I fell asleep on your couch" he answered nonchalantly. "Are you okay?"

"Fine" she said shakily. "Just a bad dream."

"About what?" he asked as he stroked her face.

"I…I don't really remember" she lied as she covered herself completely with the blanket and tried to calm herself further. She was secretly relieved that Jackson was with her. She hated being alone after a nightmare, when she had roommates it was at least a comfort to know that other people were in the house with her, but in her apartment she always felt so terrified.

"I heard you talking in your sleep" he admitted with a pained expression. "Screaming, actually."

"You did?" she asked as her face reddened. What had he heard? Did he know?

"Nightmares suck" he said sympathetically.

"Yeah" she agreed with a smile. "They do."

"Usually when people have them it's because something is bothering them. Is something bothering you April?"

April shook her head and blinked back tears.

"Just talk to me" he begged. "It's me April, your best friend. I care about you. I want to help you."

"It's bad" April said breathlessly as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Really bad."

"It's okay" he comforted her softly. "Just tell me."

"I was…raped" she admitted as she stared at the floor, wanting to avoid seeing his reaction, wanting to avoid having him see her reaction.

Jackson felt like someone had punched him in the gut. No, it couldn't be, not April, not _his_ April. No one could have hurt her like that. She was too good. She was too wonderful. "Oh God" he gasped as he noticed a tear running down his own cheek. He looked at April and saw that she was hanging her head in shame. This made him even angrier. April had nothing to be ashamed of. The bastard who did this was the one who should be sorry. And Jackson was going to make sure he was.

"Who did this? he asked through gritted teeth. "Oh my God, was it Matt?"

"No" April gasped. "No, Matt would never…"

"My God" he sighed as another thought rapidly came to his mind. "Have you been to the hospital? Have you gotten checked out? Are you alright…"

"Jackson" April interrupted. "It was a long time ago. A_ long_ time ago. Back in Moline."

"Oh" he sighed as he tried to process the information.

"I was sixteen" she explained shakily. "It was my first date…"

"My God" Jackson interrupted.

"I'm even more screwed up then you thought, huh?" April asked bitterly.

"Hey, no. No, don't do that. Don't talk about yourself like that" Jackson said as he began to breakdown. "Why now?" he asked after a moment.

"What?" April asked confused.

"Why are you telling me all of this now, after all these years? Why is this upsetting you so much more all of the sudden? What's changed?"

"Oh" April sighed. "The guy who… um, did it. He was admitted as a patient earlier today."

"What?" Jackson asked angrily as his hands formed tight fists.

"I don't know what the hell he's doing in Seattle" April scoffed. "I thought it was over, I thought I had gotten away from him, I thought he couldn't hurt me again…"

"He's not going to hurt you again" Jackson said softly as he choked back his anger and gently placed his hand on April's arm. "What's his name?"

"What?"

"I need you to tell me his name" he said trying his best to remain calm.

"Why?" she asked weakly.

"Because" he answered coldly "I'm going to make sure that he never goes near you again."

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	3. Chapter 3

The air became thick with tension as April tried to process Jackson's words. "Make sure that he never goes near me again" she repeated. "Jackson, what does that mean?"

"Don't worry about that" he said softly as he stroked her arm. "I'm going to take care of this for you. I just need you to tell me his name."

"You can't 'take care of this for me'" April scoffed, her voice unsteady. "You can't make this go away."

"No" he admitted as he blinked back tears. "I can't. But I'm sure as hell not going to let this guy hurt you again."

"He's in a coma" April explained. "He can't do anything to me except… be there. But that's enough. Seeing his face brought it all back."

"You want to talk about it?" Jackson asked unsure if he wanted to know any more details. He wanted to be able to deal with the son of a bitch, but he was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep it together if he heard the whole story, and April needed him to be strong.

"I've already told you more than I've ever told anyone" she scoffed.

"You've been keeping this inside for a long time" he murmured sympathetically, grateful that she was finally opening up to someone. Grateful that he was the one she was choosing to confide in.

"I didn't lie though" she whispered, her stare vacant, her face pale.

"What are you talking about?"

"About being a virgin. I decided back then that it didn't count. That I wasn't going to let him take that from me I…."

"Revirginized" Jackson finished her sentence in a horrified whisper.

"That made me feel better" she said as she choked back tears. "Which is why I tried to do the same thing after we got together; I was scared and-"

"You were scared?" he asked urgently. "Of _me_?"

"No" April scoffed. "Not of you. Never. I was scared of how I felt about you."

"That's why you acted the way you did afterwards" he gasped as bile rose in his throat. "You were traumatized."

"No" April answered shaking her head. "No, no" she repeated. "I wasn't traumatized. What happened between us was nothing like what happened between me and Paul. Don't think that. Jackson, you were so loving and gentle and sweet."

"Paul" Jackson repeated with disgust in his voice. "The bastard's name is Paul?"

"Paul Williams" April nodded. "I guess he was in some sort of car wreck earlier today."

"Yeah" Jackson scoffed. "That's going to seem like fun after I get through with him."

"Please don't talk like that" April begged as her voice broke. "You're scaring me."

"I'm sorry. That's the last thing I want to do."

"I just don't know how to handle this" she said as she began to break down.

"Shh" Jackson comforted her gently as he pulled her into his arms.

"I'm not strong enough for this" she chocked through sobs.

"Are you kidding me?" he scoffed. "April, you are one of the strongest people I have ever met. You've been carrying this horrible secret all these years, dealing with this all by yourself. But you aren't alone now. You have me. You'll always have me, okay?"

"What am I going to do if he wakes up?" she asked revealing her deepest fear. "What if he wakes up and he finds me…"

"April" Jackson said as he pulled back to look her in the eye. "I promise you that isn't going to happen. I won't let that happen. You're safe, okay? He can't hurt you again."

"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep again?" April asked as her vulnerable eyes searched his for an answer.

"Of course" he said reassuringly. "I can stay here as long as you need me to."

"Thanks" she murmured sleepily as she rested her head on the pillow. "I'm lucky to have you, I… love you."

Jackson wasn't exactly sure what she meant, and in that moment, he didn't really care. He loved her in every sense of the word, and he was going to do whatever he could to help her, whatever he could to make Paul Williams pay.

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"Hey" Jackson greeted as Alex answered the door.

"Dude" he complained. "It's 2:00 in the morning, what the hell are you doing here?"

"It's an emergency, can I come in?"

"No" he answered as he began to shut the door.

"It's about April" he said urgently as he pushed it open. "She needs us, can I come in, please?"

"What the hell could Kepner need at 2 AM?"

"It's a long story. I'll explain if you let me in. Please, I know you care about her even if you show it in your own messed up way."

"Fine" he muttered. "Clearly you aren't going to leave, so come on in."

"I need your help" he said urgently as he took a seat at the kitchen table.

"I thought Kepner was the one who needed my help."

"I need your help helping her" he explained as he tried to figure out a way to explain the situation to Alex. He still hadn't processed it himself. He didn't know if he could fix his mouth to say the horrible words.

"Dude, just tell me. What is going on?"

"I'm not sure exactly how to do this" he muttered nervously. "Ideally we'd just find a way to scare the guy off by beating him senseless or something, but he's in a coma."

"And why do we want to beat up a comatose man?" Alex asked more confused than ever.

"Because" Jackson answered as he took a sharp intake of breath. "He raped April."

"What?" Alex asked angrily. "What the hell are you talking about!?"

"It was years ago back in Ohio, she was still in high school. She was still a freaking kid and he…"

"Where is this guy?" Alex asked as he balled up his fists.

"Seattle Grace, he was assigned to April as a patient" he scoffed at the irony. "She had to face him again and she's so upset, you should have seen her."

"My God" he gasped. "The poor thing. What do you want us to do?"

"Honestly, I want to kill him" he answered as he fought tears.

"Jackson-"

"She had a nightmare. She was screaming and crying and she kept saying 'stop.'" He recounted with a pained expression. "I bet that's what happened when he did it. Only he didn't stop" he said his voice growing louder and more urgent.

"It's screwed up" Alex scoffed. "It's terrible, but as much as I'd like to help you pound the living crap out of this bastard, it isn't going to do April any good if we get ourselves arrested."

"He's not getting away with this!"

"Maybe the car wreck he got in was some form of karma, maybe he'll never wake up, maybe you don't need to get revenge for April, maybe the universe has done that for you already."

"I promised her she'd never have to see him again" he said through gritted teeth. "I'm not going to break that promise.

"Get him moved to another hospital" he shrugged.

"How am I going to do that?" Jackson scoffed.

"Talk to Derek, he'll get it done."

Jackson sighed, relieved that he had a plan that could actually work. "Thanks" he said to Alex as he made his way to the door. "I guess I needed to be talked down."

"Hey man, I get it" he said sympathetically as he patted him on the back.

"I don't think April really wants anyone knowing about this, so if you could keep this between us-"

"Of course" Alex nodded. "I won't say a word."

"I gotta go get back to April."

"Hey" Alex said, stopping him before he walked out. "Take care of her, okay?"

"Don't worry" Jackson nodded. "I will."


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